1. |
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i spent an entire summer
getting stoned and higher than high
i drank my weight in alcohol
and i threw up three fucking times
i walked to 7/11 in freezing temps with no gloves
i lost 50 pounds by starving, now all i do is throw up
i can’t stop being stupid
for the life of me i don’t know why
i can’t stop being reckless
but i know i’ll be alright
i can’t help being impulsive
but at least i put up a fight
i spent my youth making mix cds
i’ve got that goin for me
cause im made of laughter
im made of tears
i’m filled to the brim with irrational fears
i waste my days in bed with blood-stained sheets
i’m made of screams
and im made of sighs
i’m made of sleep and my bloodshot eyes
but at least i made my life a bit more complete
i spent my youth making mix cds
i’ve got that goin for me
i’ve broken one too many razors
to watch my arms turn red
i gave myself a black eye
does more really have to be said?
i blew 400 bucks on a plane flight
to new york but didn’t actually go
i spent 6 months trying to make her
like me again, shit, that blows
i can’t stop being stupid
for the life of me i don’t know why
i can’t stop being reckless
but i know i’ll be alright
i can’t help being impulsive
but at least i put up a fight
i spent my youth making mix cds
i’ve got that goin for me
cause im made of laughter
im made of tears
i’m filled to the brim with irrational fears
i waste my days in bed with blood-stained sheets
i’m made of screams
and im made of sighs
i’m made of sleep and my bloodshot eyes
but at least i made my life a bit more complete
i spent my youth making mix cds
i’ve got that goin for me
i may despise every aching bone in my shaking frame
but at least i can say i loved you without shame
i may be a goddamn failure to everyone i know
but at least i loved you on the run and go
cause im made of laughter
im made of tears
i’m filled to the brim with irrational fears
i waste my days in bed with blood-stained sheets
i’m made of screams
and im made of sighs
i’m made of sleep and my bloodshot eyes
but at least i made my life a bit more complete
i spent my youth making mix cds
i wrote shitty songs on the ukulele
i stayed up to talk in the morning till 3
i’ve got that goin for me
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2. |
Don't Do Drugs, Kids!
04:51
|
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i often tend to wonder
why we exist so near each other
i’m stuck in existential crisis mode
i struggle with discovering just
who i’m supposed to be
i hope my soul can take one more blow
and i’m waiting for the day where
the aliens take me away
they’d be doing me a favor, honestly
us skymen are so fragile
we think too much and then unravel
so we inhale, exhale, then we’re free
but what do we turn to
and what do we hold on with
i mean after all, we don’t really exist
oh, what do we hope for
and why is it burning out
i guess we just can’t go without
[chorus]
so we inhale little galaxies
and we tilt our heads to the sky and breathe
until we are floating
in space we know we're not alone
in endless darkness, smoke is home
the fires are so warm tonight
but don't do drugs, kids
unless you wanna meet the aliens
i've never felt okay before
and i've always been afraid
of hair dryers and life beyond the stars
i've felt the urge to tear my skin
from my body far too much
burnt fingertips are better by far
but what do we turn to
and what do we hold on with
this life we lead, i can't stand to miss
oh, what do we hope for
and why is it up in flames
i guess we can't all take the blame
[chorus]
so we inhale little galaxies
and we tilt our heads to the sky and breathe
until we are floating
in space we know we're not alone
in endless darkness, smoke is home
the fires are so warm tonight
but don't do drugs, kids
unless you wanna meet the aliens
the night skies
have been telling me
to hold on to you guys
the nights here
will not disappear
i'll hold onto you
[chorus]
so we inhale little galaxies
and we tilt our heads to the sky and breathe
until we are floating
in space we know we're not alone
in endless darkness, smoke is home
the fires are so warm tonight
but don't do drugs, kids
unless you wanna meet the aliens
|
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3. |
The Summer Song
03:31
|
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something about this tune reminds me
of winter
but that will never take away the memory
of summer with all of its light and life
i’d like to feel new
and i’d love to see you
but my sister is calling me
so please let’s just hurry
and feel this way
til the end of the day
please
i’m not finished yet
oh, please
let’s rewind and reset
indian summers are a fantasy
we know this
but we will make them real and live in harmony
i promise
i’d like to feel new
and i’d love to see you
but my sister is calling me
so please let’s just hurry
and feel this way
til the end of the day
something about this tune reminds me
of winter
but that will never take away the memory
of summer
i’d like to feel new
and i’d love to see you
but my sister is calling me
so please let’s just hurry
and feel this way
til the end of the day
convenience stores and mix cds
polaroids of you and me
picnics underneath the sky
won’t stop until we’re up that high
so hold on tight
to summer’s light
please
im not finished yet
oh, please
let’s rewind and reset
|
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4. |
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i’ve been sitting here drinking coffee
and feeling sorry for myself
staring at the clothes on my floor
and the dust on all my shelves
i should probably hang that marvel poster
up before it tears
take a shower, do my laundry
and finally style my hair
the toilet needs to be cleaned
and i should probably take the garbage out
but how do i do that? i’m add
i need instructions and a specific layout
you see clutter stresses me out
but my depression tells me it’s fine
to leave the mess and just do nothing
maybe it’s a sign
sure i spent my youth making mix cds for my friends
but that won’t mean a thing if i can’t seem
to comprehend
[chorus]
how much time has passed
since what i was doing last
i wish i knew what was going on but i don’t
im executively dysfunctional
constantly uncomfortable
stressed and don’t know how to be alone
so please i beg your patience
i understand your frustration
i promise i’ll get around to it someday
maybe?
i don’t actually know
maybe i’ll get hit with a sudden burst of inspiration
that gets me off my ass when im feeling low
i haven’t changed my bed sheets in a month
or is it two?
i have to send a package
god there’s so much shit to do
there’s vacuuming and dishes
and that book i’d like to write
but that’s a hard when i feel like im dying day and night
sure i spent my youth making mix cds for my friends
but that won’t mean a thing if i can’t seem
to comprehend
[chorus]
how much time has passed
since what i was doing last
i wish i knew what was going on but i don’t
im executively dysfunctional
constantly uncomfortable
stressed and don’t know how to be alone
so please i beg your patience
i understand your frustration
i promise i’ll get around to it someday
yes i will, i will i promise
this, i’ll take my meds and
kiss some ass to get where i need going
please, i’ll remember to eat
but what does it matter to me
if i don’t even bother knowing
how much time has passed
since what i was doing last
i wish i knew what was going on but i don’t
im executively dysfunctional
constantly uncomfortable
stressed and don’t know how to be alone
so please i beg your patience
i understand your frustration
i promise i’ll get around to it someday
maybe
|
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5. |
Ugly
05:17
|
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i tried to give myself a bruise
the other day
cause bruises don't leave scars
but i've got those anyway
i smoked another cigarette
after two months of not
i yelled and screamed at mom
and me and my sister fought
but that's just fine
just another day in the life
of me
i stole a shirt from a thrift store
a few weeks ago
and i don't feel bad i just feel glad
that i've got more clothes!
i spilled a glass of orange juice on my
best friend's floor
i wore my binder way too long and my
back's beyond sore
but that's just fine
just another day in the life
of me
i'm not so good at being poetic but i don't care
i'll find another way to tell you why i just can't bare
my eyebrows, my cheeks, my teeth
the way that i struggle to breathe when given
a tough situation
my chubby arms and big tummy
my thighs and ankles, well let's see
oh yes
the way i dress
i know i'm ugly
it's how i've lived my life
i know i'm ugly you don't
have to lie
Cause it’s just fine
i've stolen money from my sister
too many times
i compulsively lie but i try to
make it right
i don't like being criticized
constructive or not
i snuck out of the house a few times
but i was caught
but that's just fine
just another day in the life of me
i'm not so good at being poetic
but i don't care
i'll find another way to tell you
why i just can't bare
my eyebrows, my cheeks, my teeth
the way that i struggle to breathe
when given a tough situation
my chubby arms and big tummy
my thighs and ankles, well let's see
oh yes
the way i dress
i know i'm ugly it's how i've lived my life
i know i'm ugly you don't have to lie
cause it's just fine
i make a lot of mistakes but i am trying
to be a better person
i keep on making mistakes but i am getting
better at being a person
i'm not so good at being poetic but that's just fine
i'm finding all these ways to live a life where i don't mind
my eyebrows, my cheeks, my teeth
the way that i struggle to breathe when given
a tough situation
my chubby arms and big tummy
my thighs and ankles, well let's see
oh yes
the way i dress
i know i'm ugly
it's how i've lived my life
i know i'm ugly you don't
have to lie
cause it's just fine
|
OLLIE OXYN Highland Charter Township, Michigan
spencer/ollie. 21. trans and trying to save money for top surgery. i play the ukulele.
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